4 Ways to Stop Imposter Syndrome from Ruining Your Life
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.
Whether you attribute this quote to Wayne Gretzky or to Michael Scott, you cannot argue with its logic. Everyday, millions of people around the world fail to believe in their own ability and are prevented from pursuing their goals entirely. This is not caused by external factors, but by their own imposter syndrome.
Do you ever feel that you are moments away from being caught out as a fraud? Do you often attribute your success to luck? Do you find it difficult to believe that compliments and positive feedback are genuine? If, like me, you just answered ‘Yes, Yes, and definitely Yes!’, then you may just be part of the estimated 70% of the population that experience imposter syndrome.
Defined as “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills”, imposter syndrome is rife in modern society. And it’s no wonder; in today’s social media use, we are constantly faced with the carefully curated online profiles of those we connect with. They portray unrealistically perfect images of life that increasingly fuel our imposter syndrome.
Self-doubt is a natural component of the human psyche. However, when chronic self-doubt (imposter syndrome) sets in and is not controlled, it can have a major impact on your life. It can place strong limitations on your personal growth and career progression, as well as leading to mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression.
While you cannot control the thoughts that enter your mind, you can learn to control your response in order to reduce the power that they have over you. Follow these 4 steps to learn how to change your mindset, manage your imposter syndrome and unlock your potential, in order to achieve more than you ever thought possible.
1. It’s okay to make mistakes.
It’s an old cliche, but we are all human and we all make mistakes. People with imposter syndrome are prone to setting incredibly — sometimes impossibly — high standards for their own performance. This leads to severe feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Adjust your mindset to accept mistakes and accept failure. These are natural and inevitable, and are one of the key ways that we learn and grow as individuals. Learn to accept mistakes and be prepared to respond proactively to them when they happen. You will notice your confidence increase as the power that mistakes hold over you is removed.
Learn to accept mistakes, and they will pale in comparison to all the great things you do every day.
2. Focus on what YOU did.
I will go out on a limb and say that no one has ever achieved anything without any external factors playing a part.
Barack Obama has spoken publicly on many occasions about the importance of his wife Michelle on his journey to becoming the 44th President of the United States. When Leicester City won the English Premier League in 2016 they were blessed with no major injuries throughout the whole season. When you got your last job or promotion you may have been helped by another strong candidate turning up late to their interview. But you still did it. You also just made it into a list alongside the Obama’s — congrats.
Managing imposter syndrome is not about pretending there are no external influences at play. Accept that they exist, but do not attribute your success to them. Upon completion of a goal, make a list of what you did personally that contributed to achieving this. Focus on these points and acknowledge that without them, you would not have succeeded. Over time you will start to realise that you are more than competent and that you thoroughly deserve your successes in life.
Just because you got a bit of luck or help along the way, it doesn’t mean that YOU didn’t earn it. Focus on what you did that made the difference.
3. Stop the comparisons.
You’ve all heard this one before, but I bet you still do it, right? The work colleague who presents in meetings so effortlessly. The fellow saxophonist who naturally produces a ‘smoother sound’ than you. The runner who bounds past you at the park without breaking a sweat, while you’re just focusing on not passing out.
Comparing yourself to others is a guaranteed recipe for feeling like a failure.
When you compare yourself to others, you — often inaccurately — see other people as better than you, without knowing the full story. This is especially true in the world of social media, where you are only presented with people’s chosen identity; the best picture out of 153 taken on a night out, the good news post about a new engagement, while hiding the fact that they fight every day and are both absolutely miserable. When you try to compare your real life to the incomplete assumptions you make of others, you convince yourself that you are inferior, which fuels your imposter syndrome.
As soon as you stop comparing yourself to others, everything changes. You stop looking outward at what everyone else in the world is doing, and start looking at yourself. You will notice that you have your own unique strengths and abilities that make you successful in what you do. Focus on yourself, and the rest will no longer matter.
Once you stop looking at what everyone else is doing, you will start to notice all the things that you do brilliantly, every day.
4. Support.
While imposter syndrome is not a recognised mental disorder, it is closely linked with symptoms of depression including low self-esteem and self-confidence. As a result, it should be taken seriously, and this can’t always be done alone.
Whether you reach out to friends and family, visit online support groups or speak to a professional, there are numerous options available for anyone to receive the support and advice that they need.
You are not alone, and things CAN change for the better.
